Best and Worst of 2006

The Best and Worst of 2006

I seriously have get this on the site because I've been threatening to put it together all last month but I got sidetracked with other posts (mainly because they're shorter and easier to compile). But there were enough significant happenings in the last year to cause need for this page so here it is, Mr. Armageddon's Best and Worst of 2006.

Best new album

I listen to so much crap that I can't just name one. Well, actually I can, I just don't want to. There was tons of good music last year so here's my top five.

#1
	Not AFI!	Lacuna Coil's Karmacode is my first introduction to this kickass "goth metal" group. (I use quotes because the definition of just about every genre of music is extremely loose. I wish we could just call it all rock and roll and quit arguing about who's truly metal or truly punk or truly goth, or what have you.) Since I obtained the record I have gone out and purchased most of their other material, still amazed by the skill of both lead volalists and happy that there are still rock groups out there who can actually sing.
#2
	Not AFI!	An interesting note regarding Rise Against: each album is progressively better than the last. Honestly, I didn't think they could top their major label debut, Siren Song of the Counter Culture, but hell, I love this CD. "Drones" is definetely the best track. Now if only I'd been wrong about AFI not being able to top Sing the Sorrow...
#3
	Not AFI!	The Bronx. Their first album a few years back (also self-titled) took me by surprise by being what most would definitely call "punk" without sounding too derivitive, which is a problem most punk bands have. That's what happens with such a simple style. I mean, it's hard to do punk wrong, but it tends to lack innovation. And the odd thing is, I really didn't like the new The Bronx initially. It is different from the first album, but fortunately it managed to grow on me. Now I can say I like it better.
#4
	Not AFI!	The best review of Wolves in Wolves' Clothing I read came from Alternative Press magazine (that might actually have been a review of NOFX's EP Never Trust a Hippy). AP usually lists three similar sounding bands, and for NOFX they said "NOFX," "NOFX" and "NOFX." Yes, Fat Mike and the crew practically invented what was considered the mid-90s punk sound. Yes, their records now follow a rather strict formula. (Funny song? Check. Hardcore song? Check. Political song? Check. Acoustic material? Check.) But of all punk bands out there, this is one of the few who are actually good at playing their instruments, which is refreshing despite the fact that they often walk the known territory in their releases.
#5
	Not AFI!	I've always wanted to boast as so many Blink 182 fans do when they say they were into a band before they were cool, but it's unfortunately yet to happen. Still, if there's one that can do it, it's The Front. They're a very small outfit from Wyoming, completely self-produced and self-released (this is actually their second) and in case you're not in the know, DIY is a fuck of a lot of work. It doesn't hurt that the band sounds great, too. The only downside is it's over too fast. Ten blitzkriegs is too few for a full length, otherwise it might be higher on the list.
#6
	Yes, AFI!
	An honorable mention goes to AFI's Decemberground for being a great listen but still (and just as I predicted) not quite able to live up to its predecessor. Since I consider Sing the Sorrow to be the greatest piece of rock music I've ever heard, I doubt anything ever will.

In case anyone is wondering, the readers of Alternative Press basically voted AFI for their best-of in every category. I just want to make it clear that I disagree.

Greatest abomination to the human race

I know, it came out in 2005, but seriously, how could I not mention this pile of shit? Besides, I don't voluntarily listen to shitty music, so this had to go here. Honestly, AC/DC could cause the end of human civilization. If an alien species heard a radio broadcast of AC/DC and then learned how bafflingly popular they are, not only would they not give us their recipe for immortality, but they would deem us so stupid as to be unworthy of existence and therefore annhilate us. The only solution would be if AC/DC were to admit (and thereby convice the world) that they suck and then hurl themselves into a volcanoe. It's possible that could satsify any alien invaders. In fact, if that were to happen, AC/DC might actually have earned my respect.

Best live performance

The Vandals' Winter formal, December 23rd.

Seriously, how could I not pick The Vandals? During the encore a Christms tree-shaped pinata is lowered and guitarist Warren Fitzgerald winds up to take a swing with his Fender but the tree falls off its string and he misses. His solution is to open up the top of the pinata, get inside, and jump in the audience. Is there a perfomer more hilariously retarded?

Worst live peformance

NOFX - Warped Tour at Pomona Fairplex.

They may have made it on my top five best albums but that still doesn't excuse their awful drunken Warped show. Drummer and recovering alcaholic Eric Ghint must have been pissed.

Best new TV show

It's a toss up between "Brok3n Pix3ls" and "The Angry Nintendo Nerd," but I guess neither really count since neither air on television. Then agiain, TV sucks for the most part, anyway, which is just another reason why the internet rules.

(Skip to the second half)

Worst new TV show

Aside from every new television debut in the fall season, there were a few that stood head and shoulders above all others in suckitude. Among these are:

It's not as annoying as Sex and the City but twice as insipid.

Ugly Betty

Here's the thing about Ugly Betty. I seriously don't think she's that ugly. Granted, she's not exactly supermodel quality (but then again, there are many actual supermodels who aren't "supermodel quality"), but it does kind of defeat the purpose calling a show Ugly Betty whose whole concept is an ugly woman trying to survive in a society that glorifies hot women when SHE ISN'T UGLY! Seriously, this just further demonstrates what's wrong in a society in which a high percentage of 8-year-old girls think they're too fat. By casting a not-too-ugly woman in a role that's supposed to look ugly, the producers of this show have essentially done the exact opposite of what they're trying to accomplish.

Another really terrible show is Heroes.

Jess from Gilmore girls laments not being on a decent show, anymore.

Who came up with this piece of shit? Lost premiers and turns out to be a smash so now the Hollywood creative process kicks in: plagarize, plagarize, plagarize! Remember Dark Skies? It was to X-Files what WCW was to WWF. Lame.

Best video game

Click here for big version

Please don't tell me you didn't see this one coming. Seeing as how I crunched through the second quest of the original Zleda I think this is a given. In fact, I enjoyed it so much I might even make it my new favorite game ever, abdicating Zelda: A Link to the Past. Speaking of which, I recently dowloaded the SNES classic on my Wii and I couldn't be happier. Yes, I already own the SNES version, but it's Zelda!

Best game I haven't finished

Okami

It's similar to Zelda in so many ways. In fact, both games allow you to play as a wolf. What I don't get is that Capcom (who published the game) canned developer Clover Studios for no apparent reason. They're also the makers of the Viewtiful Joe games, so it really sucks because I wanted to see how those games would have played on Nintendo's unusual new controller. I love the DS incarnation, but oh well, such is life.

Honorable mention goes to Bully, which, incidentally, is not a Columbine simulator, does not push the homosexual agenda, and in actuality condemns bullying in schools. When it comes down to it, the game is, in fact, a social commentary on class. Who says games can't have a message (and therefore can't be a form of art)?

Speaking of games...

Best new console

Again, this is a given. That's not to say I'm not excited about PlayStation3, because I am. It's just too expensive and there aren't enough games out for it, yet. Sure, the same is true for the Wii, as well, but Nintendo already has the largest library of downloadable content on their Virtual Console service, even more than Xbox Live Arcade which has been kicking for over a year, now. While I'm waiting for Battalion Wars or the next Metroid I can replay the greats like Mario 64 and F-Zero, and try out some of the ones I missed like Gunstar Heroes and Castlevania IV. I'll definitely get a PS3. Metal Gear is the only explanation that needs to be given, although it doesn't hurt to have Ninja Gaiden Sigma, the possibility of God of War 3 (which is strange because God of War 2 is yet to be released on PS2) and a new intelectual property known as Heavenly Sword, which some peopled have already nicknamed "Goddess of War." Sounds cool.

This all leads to...

Best episode of South Park, ever

Actually, it was three episodes, all about Cartman's lust for a Wii and inability to obtain one. Also it had something with the theory of evolution, but I didn't care about that. You can have your WoW episode if you want, you pathetic addicts. I know it was Comedy Central's highest rated mid-season premier in five years, but I don't play WoW. I'm above that.

Best movie

I didn't get to see anywhere near as many movies as I wanted to see, but if I had to choose something it would probably be Jet Li's Fearless. (Why does he have to have his name in the title? Egotist.) I always love a good kung fu movie. Honorable mention goes to Spike Lee's Inside Man, which is way better than the critics said it was, and V For Vendetta, which in an odd coup, was actually found to be enjoyable by my step dad (who normally watches a movie whispering hilarious comments that often point of the holes in the plot and expose the ignorance of the film makers). And although it may not have been the best flick I saw last year, the best experience I had at the movies was for the new Pirates of the Caribean, and that all has to do with the person I saw it with. (Clerks 2 was also good, for the same reason.)

Worst movie

I'd hate to say it, but X-Men 3 didn't quite live up to the second one (not the first, because I didn't really like that one, either). Mr. Cranky had this to say:

"Seriously, [Famke] Janssen has this look on her face throughout the entire movie that screams 'Help me. I'm in a really bad movie and I know it.'"

Personally, I didn't think it sucked. It really seemed like they tried to give the fans what they wanted. But it wasn't as good as part 2.

Best news story I actually cared about

Hello, bastards.

Lifetime are back together

I'll go down the list. Blink 182. Sum 41. SR71. Good Charlotte. In fact, most punk bands that have a number in their name ripped off Lifetime (and did so very poorly). Apparently, the Hollywood creative process isn't exclusive to Hollywood. Don't get me wrong, there's nothing bad about inspiration, but it'd be nice if Lifetime had gotten a little more credit when most of today's pop-punk groups were popular. But now they're back together and recording new material. Hopefully, their new CD will be longer than 21 minutes. Conversly...

Worst news story I actually cared about

T.S.O.L. break up

They got back together in 2000 (the original band that is) and now they're breaking up again apparently because someone got shot and killed during a live performance and the victim's family decided to pursue the American dream of getting money without avtually doing any work for it (which, I should add, is exclusive to people born in the US, immigrants need not apply). Something tells me they'll reform again, but who knows? They're bigger bastards than Lifetime.

Most tragic celebrity deaths of 2006

James Brown is definitely number one, here. Other notables include Gerald Ford, Joe Barbara (as in, one half of Hannah Barbara), and Steve Irwin. I'd put Saddam Hussein on this list but I don't consider it a tragedy.