I don't understand what the big deal is about the meaning of life question. Why has this puzzled human beings for so long? Not a single philosopher has ever come close. What's the big deal? Are people blind? I've known the meaning of life since I was a baby, and trust me, it's not meep!

And it also doesn't have anything to do with Monty Python.

I know the meaning of life, and I will tell you what the meaning of life is. And... the meaning of life... is the following...

Made ya look! Ha! Keep going...

Boobs!

Yes, that's right. Boobs. I know the meaning of life and it's boobs. I'm not joking. Think about how great they are, whether you're gay or straight, male or female. A gay man will dress up boobs, a straight man will undress them, and any woman knows what kind of effect they have on men. The most ineffectual blowhard will be brought to his knees by the might of boobs. And anyone who claims to hate boobs is clearly a soulless demon sent from hell to weaken humanity's morale.

All the great human achievements were the product of boobs. The skyscrapers, the bridges, the rocket ships, the cyclotons--all of it was invented by some guy trying to impress his woman. How many women just show their boobs around without any reward? Even hookers and strippers are paid, so unless you have ample amounts of alcohol, don't expect to see boobs unless you do something fantastic, and even being able to afford alcohol requires a job, which may not be fantastic, but it'll get you some sort of honey.

Some slut from one of those dating websites

Don't mistake human motivation for sex. Anybody can have sex, even if it's not necessarily performed with more than one person. It really doesn't matter if a woman "puts out," so to speak. If a guy doesn't "get some," he'll just shrug his shoulders and get some from himself when he gets home. But boobs on the other hand are a completely different story.

Think about it. All our art, science, religion, wars--everything mighty enacted by humans, all of it was an effort to impress the opposite sex. Civilization would not exist without boobs. We would never have discovered fire or invented weapons. We certainly wouldn't have agrarianism or domesticated animals. In fact, we'd most certainly be extinct by now.

The principles of causality

In evaluating the significance of boobs, it is important to understand the law of cause and effect. All too often do people mistakenly reverse this law or forget it altogether. To understand the intricacies of causality, we turn to Aristotle.

Aristotle observed that all matter is in motion. Today, we've proven this to be true. Even objects that are apparently stationary like a chair or a wall has subatomic particles that are constantly in motion. But how were they set in motion? Aristotle figured that in order for one object to be set in motion, it must be bumped by another object already in motion. That object, too, was bumped by another object, and another, and another, until you go all the way back to the very first object that was put in motion. What bumped that? Simple: Aristotle called it the "uncaused cause," and offered it up as his evidence for the existence of God.

Alissa from The Agonist

The uncaused cause creates an endless cycle of motion.

Now consider the fact that not all activities on earth are performed for the sake of seeing, touching, possibly banging, or (in the case of females and homosexuals) dressing up boobs. For instance, one doesn't play video games to see boobs, it is merely an activity done for entertainment. But remember the principles of causality. Someone created a video game with the ultimate intent of seeing, touching, or possibly banging boobs. So without boobs (the cause) the video game (the effect) would not exist. So technically, when you play a video game, you are still playing it for the sake of boobs.

God knew that no human action on earth would take place without the influence of a wondrous, life-sustaining thing like boobs. So he created boobs to give human beings motivation to live and to produce and therefore gave human beings a purpose. In other words, boobs are the divine work of the Almighty. Is it any coincidence that the infinity symbol (see above) that is so often associated with the Almighty even looks like boobs?

Cristina from Lacuna Coil. Purrr.

Conclusion: God must be made of boobs

Busty Heart

Watch as massive-boob owning strip club operator Bust Heart crushes a Foster's beer can.

		As Adam looks upon the breast a feeling surges through him as if he has suddenly been made aware of his own mortality. The clear and sudden beauty of the thing puts an expression of elation on his face that seems to suggest that no pleasure in his past has ever equaled this moment, and it's doubtful that any kind of rapture--however monumental--ever will in the future. Those moments men claim to be the greatest, the wedding of a love or the birth of children, are nothing compared to this. The breast may as well be illuminated by a shining light from the heavens with a choir of angels singing its praise.

Big versus small

Whether they're big or small, boobs are always wonderful.

Busty big	Gwen small
Both beautiful (at least in the chestal region)

There's one type of boob that's utterly inexcusable:

Fake

That's right, fake boobs are the worst. They're hard and shiny for some reason, and they suck (and certainly not in a good way). If there was some plastic surgeon somewhere who can make them look and feel real I wouldn't mind, but please. As I've said before, breasts are supposed to be soft and supple.